BELLMORE - Nassau County police investigating stores that sell alcohol and tobacco to minors arrested an employee of a Bellmore convenience store on Sunday after he allegedly sold beer to a teenager. Shafayet Satjapi, 63, of Bellmore, was working at the Qwik-E-Mart convenience store on Jerusalem Avenue just before 6 p.m. when police said he sold beer to an 18-year-old.
Satjapi was arrested and charged with first-degree unlawfully dealing with a child, prohibited sale of alcohol to someone under 21 years of age, and resisting arrest. The last charge came after Satjapi pleaded with the officers to "not be stupid."
Satjapi continued, "The boy I sold the beer to? I know this boy. He is joining the Marines next month. He has a 2-year old daughter. This boy is a good boy. He works. He takes care of his child, married the mother. Hell, I didn’t even sell him anything good; just a six-pack of Moosehead.”
Satjapi was issued a desk appearance ticket and is scheduled to appear at First District Court in Hempstead.
BRIDGEHAMPTON/RONKONKOMA - Two men were hit and killed by Long Island Rail Road trains in separate accidents Saturday morning.
The first, a bicyclist, Luis Reina, 24, of Centereach, was struck near Bridgehampton around 10:10 a.m., a railroad spokeswoman said. Several witnesses, including a Suffolk County deputy sheriff, told MTA police they saw Reina ride his bicycle into a lowered crossing gate. The deputy sheriff said Reina got up, picked up his bike, and went under the gate, even as the sheriff and a woman yelled warnings at him. The train hit Reina shortly afterward. Twelve passengers were on-board at the time, but while service was temporarily suspended, all passengers had already downloaded the latest version of Words With Friends, so the delay was actually OK.
In the second fatality, Rafael Hernandez, 38, of Ronkonkoma, died after a Ronkonkoma-bound train hit him a half-mile east of the Ronkonkoma station at 11:30 a.m. The area where that accident occurred is wooded; witnesses say Hernandez stepped from behind a signal box at the side of the tracks, into the train's path. The train, the 10:13 a.m. out of Penn Station, had 200 passengers, some of whom had to be treated for emotional distress. LIRR grief counselors assured them a fresh batch of “those people” would arrive early the next morning at the 7-11 parking lot to be exploited economically, sexually, and “however else you like it, until the day they lose all hope and step in front of a train.” Service to the Ronkonkoma line was restored shortly before 2 p.m.
HAMPTON BAYS - Officers responding Tuesday evening to a reported theft at a Stop & Shop in Hampton Bays arrested a Riverhead woman accused of trying to pay using counterfeit bills.
Jessica Williams Featherstone, 28, of 1227 Stockbridge Lane, was arrested on 14 counts of first-degree criminal possession of a forged instrument, as well as petty larceny charges. Police said Second Precinct officers had gone into the Stop & Shop on West Montauk highway at 6:40 p.m. to ogle the pharmacy chicks and strategically leave shopping carts inside parking spots when they were interrupted by store security, who’d stopped Featherstone at the self-check out line attempting to buy a cartful of wax beans with counterfeit bills.
Police said the beans–imported from Utica—had a street value of more than $900. A police spokesman said a follow-up investigation found that because it’s summertime, Stop & Shop jacks up all their prices to prey on the money-burning citiots who swarm the East End like cicadas, and therefore a cartful of anything in the store had a street value over $1500, and besides, “The Cheesecake Factory had buy one/get one mojitos till 10, and those pharmacy chicks are lit after two rounds.”
MASSAPEQUA - A Suffolk County woman was arrested Saturday after she offered an undercover officer sex for money in Massapequa, Nassau County police said.
Shanaynay Lovelace, 23, of Mastic Beach, was at a Holiday Inn Express shortly after 10 p.m. when police said she offered to perform a “Rusty Venture” on an undercover detective in exchange for an agreed-upon amount of money, an amount too naughty to specify. Police arrested Lovelace and charged her with prostitution. She was scheduled to be arraigned on Monday at First District Court, but the paperwork for her arrest has mysteriously vanished. According to Lovelace’s attorney, “When the arresting officer saw my client’s license and that she lived one county over, he remarked, ‘Aren’t you a long way from home, missy?’, to which she responded, ‘Nothing gets by you, huh? What are you, Magellan?’ The officer’s guard having dropped, he looked Ms. Lovelace in the eyes and said, “I’m no Magellan. But—“ at which point the officer and my client whispered, in unison, “I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”
MELVILLE - Two teens were arrested Wednesday and charged with setting two fires that damaged West Melville High School, police said.
The blazes were captured on the school janitor’s private video surveillance system.
The fires occurred on June 5th at 1:20 a.m. and June 7th at 11:30 p.m. It is alleged the teens set fire to a dumpster full of discarded disposable breast implants from the set of “Princesses Long Island,” which is filmed in the cafeteria.
"The implants exploded, creating a high wall of flame which caused the windows of the cafeteria and the class room on the second floor above to shatter and melt," said Fire Chief Stone of the Melville Fire Department.
No one was injured.
Arrested Monday were Samson Eisenhower, 19, of 246 Potomac Avenue, and Shlomo Weatherford, 18, of 448 Tulip Place. Each faced fourth and fifth-degree arson charges, but Town Court Judge Reinhold dismissed the charges after a rigorous cross-examination by defense attorneys forced the police to admit the windows shattering and melting was “pretty f@%#ing sweet.”
PATCHOGUE - A Patchogue man said he panicked one night after a woman he’d just met tripped on dumbbells in his garage, hit her head, and died, so that's why he mutilated her and took her body on the ferry to Connecticut, where he set it on fire, a detective testified Thursday.
Despite admitting all that, Evan Fane denied stabbing Dominique Boobootieski, 29, of Shirley, on the night of May 17.
Detective Javier Medrab testified at a pretrial hearing to determine the admissibility of statements Fane made. Fane, 33, is charged with second-degree murder in the death of Boobootieski.
During questioning by ADA Danny Snyder, Medrab said Fane initially couldn't recall the last time he'd been at Tapas The Morning Bar & Grill in Holbrook. But when Medrab said he told Fane they had video of him there that night from the school-janitor-who-nightlights-as-a-busboy’s private surveillance system, Fane acknowledged meeting Boobootieski there, though he resisted saying what happened later.
"If I told you what happened, you wouldn't believe me.”
Medrab told him to “go ahead, make my day,” at which point the two debated whether Clint Eastwood would best be remembered for his acting, his directing, or that one weird night he talked to an empty chair on national TV.
Fane admitted he drove Boobootieski to his home, but that she started to gag on the way there, so he brought her in to get her some water. After she tripped on the dumbbells, Fane panicked; he’d lied to her at the bar, bragging that he was a personal trainer, but feared once she saw the 50-pound dumbbells he’d boasted of were really only 25s, “she’d drop me it’s hot. ‘It’ being me. I’m not hot.”
Fane put her back in the truck to take her to Wally Mathers Memorial Hospital in Port Jefferson, but she died before they got there. That's when Fane said he “panicked” and cut off her hair, fingertips, toes, nose, and two tattoos, so she wouldn't be identified, because nobody can be identified by their dental records or anything. Fane then wrapped her in plastic, took her on the ferry from Port Jefferson (police admit Fane, in a perhaps nostalgic nod to ethics, did purchase two tickets for the ferry), and found a motel just off I-95.
Medrab testified Fane first told him the mutilation took place in his garage, but later said it was in Connecticut, claiming that would “give the story some zazz.” He waited until dark and found a spot in North Stonington where he dumped the body, poured gasoline on it, lit it on fire, and drove away. When her phone got text messages from her family, he posed as Boobootieski and said she was being held captive by her boyfriend. The family eventually caught on after Fane used “kewl” in one text despite the term being sooo 2007, and was also unable to say what “welp” meant.
"He said he knows that it looks bad," Medrab said. "He said his girl-chasing days finally caught up with him. Also his girl-being-cut-up-and-burned days."
But Fane continues to deny having stabbed Boobootieski, asking, “What kind of person do you think I am?”
SOUTHAMPTON - A bid by one Southampton resident to keep a flock of chickens in his yard was denied last week by village trustees, who expressed their hesitance creating poultry policy precedent with several fowl-related cases slated to appear before the Supreme Court this summer. The trustees also voiced concerns over the inevitable media firestorm such a move could create in a non-election year.
Resident Joseph Bruschetta said he asked the village board if he could keep three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge which he assured he would place in a tree of an as-yet undetermined nature. Bruschetta also said he’s kept chickens intermittently all throughout his life, although he did admit to the board “them three years after Lost ended are kind of a blur.” Southampton adopted a law banning the keeping of live chickens without the permission of the town witch doctor in 2005. The issue has come up several times across Long Island, where municipalities differ in their lawmaking as well as their namemaking: while Nassau residents use the formal term “chicken-keeping,” in Suffolk County the practice is known as “cocking up.”
While many Long Islanders support people like Bruschetta, there is vocal opposition to the practice. One of Bruschetta’s neighbors spoke out at the board meeting.
“I’m opposed to having chickens next door — it’s unsanitary and everything else,” said Michael Barnard. When pressed to elaborate on “everything else,” Mr. Barnard cackled, twirled his outrageous mustache, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Scared, the trustees ran out of the courthouse, refusing to even speculate on a possible return date.
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