CONTRIBUTORS

Nicole Allegrezza - Writer - Struggling college student, over worked part-time employee, and novice writer, Nicole enjoys watching the news and flushing her young life down the drain for an above average GPA. She also has starred in numerous commercials for multiple community colleges, none of which she has attended. Nicole likes chocolate and peanut butter individually, but thinks they should stop getting all up in each other and just remain friends. Currently, Nicole will be attending one of Long Island’s most expensive private universities where she will drown herself into student loan debt for an unpromising future in the dying field of journalism.

Sarah Azzara - Writer - Sarah is a diletante who has spent most of her adult life attempting to catch up with her bills and find her way out of a ludicrously long shadow. Author of reams of tortured, self-centered pages that no one will ever see, she is currently being paid to pull the eyes off of Peeps candies and get fake mud on stuff.

Diana M. Gallagher - Writer - Professional author and gymnast, Diana enjoys writing in awkward positions. She is an avid line and club dancer, and can often be found busting a move in hotspots all over the island. Her writing can be seen on the web, in magazines, and on packages of candy cigarettes. She currently holds the record for most consecutive backflips performed whilst reciting Jane Austen.

Victor Giannini - Writer - Victor Giannini’s bio is full of holes, all of them leaking the same vile pus and ignorance that clog the city gutters like so many globs of burst dog guts and hobo vomit. He claims to be a writer of “romantic speculative fiction”, an artist of all kinds, his autobiography MUST be complete bullshit, and worst of all, he claims to be human. Yet somehow, this “human” is both a “fox spirit comprised of fire and ethereal possibilities” , and a member of something called invisiblers or some such nonsense. He’s digging his own grave by failing miserably at hiding from the internet. If you see the beast, do not approach, simply CALL THE AUTHORITIES!...Tell them to bring weapons-grade meth.

Voe Jella - Writer - Voe Jella is a sick man...he is a spiteful man. He is an unattractive man. He believes his liver is diseased. However, he knows nothing at all about liver disease, and does not know for certain what ails him. He doesn't consult a doctor for it, and never has, though he has respect for medicine and doctors. He is well-educated enough not to be superstitious but he is extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway. No, he refuses to consult a doctor from spite. Instead, he spends his nights writing horribly sarcastic stories. Maybe that will help his liver.

Matt Miranda - Writer - Matthew Miranda is the Miranda the Miranda rights are named after, and is happy to accept thanks for buffing up your due process (cash gifts only). He's been published from coast-to-coast, often involving words he's used. His short story collection, "Superman," reached #6 on the NY Times Fictitious Fiction Bestsellers. Current projects include a screenplay, a comic book, a novel, the 2nd Avenue subway line, and several desperate pleas for patience to several student loan holders of various temperaments.

Julianne Mosher - Writer - Channeling her inner Tyra Banks, this fashion enthusiast works several jobs and studies the dying art of journalism. She hopes that after spending thousands of dollars she doesn’t have in loans at Stony Brook University, she will become a successful writer and cease having to deal with the general public in retail and babysitting twenty children at a gym daycare. She also plans on changing the world…with cats by her side…lots of cats. Julianne loves bracelets, eyeliner and hippie culture. She loathes corporate America, spiders, people who chew or gulp loudly, and those who make other weird mouth noises.

Jen P - Writer - Jen lives in an open house with giant wizards. When she isn't writing, she is searching for the perfect breakfast buffet or funnel cake. Jen's political views tend to shift depending on what she is drinking. Her hobbies include lizards and jousting.

Nicole Pandolfo - Writer - Nicole Pandolfo is a writer and actress who lives and works in New York City. She is from New Jersey and does not understand anti-Jersey sentiments. She thinks meeting Cher would be the tops.

Dominick Quartuccio - Editor in Chief - Raised by circus gorillas, Dominick is always willing to entertain or throw feces at a moment’s notice. He sometimes channels the spirit of Christopher Walken, even though Walken is still using it, and has been known to “Release the Kracken” whenever he sees fit. At the age of thirteen, Dominick was the only survivor of a fishing vessel that sank off the coast of Sicily. With no recollection of what happened, he made something up and has been writing and telling stories ever since. He currently resides on the south shore of Long Island, in the fourth dimension.

Kevin K. Scott - Writer - The unofficial world record holder of most White Castle cheeseburgers consumed in one sitting (youth group), Kevin is now an accomplished viewer of cable television after years of battling childhood obesity. While quick to claim a lifelong hatred of Long Island, he is forever grateful for being okay with having absolutely nothing to do on a Saturday night. A one-time Facebook profile pic supporter of gay rights, Kevin recently moved to Brooklyn in order to pursue his dreams of enjoying a slightly better class of sliced pizza.

Phebe Szatmari - Writer - Phebe make film. Phebe make poem. Phebe dance and Phebe run. Phebe make fun times with people and words. Phebe live in secret cave in Prospect Park Ravine, Brooklyn, with two dog and three squirrel.

Cathy Zimmermann - Writer - Cathy is a writer, filmmaker, and mother of four, and may often be observed tripping over the family dog whilst attempting to leap tall buildings in a single bound. She is not a hipster. She actually needs those glasses to read, and her Keds accommodate two permanently crossed toes. She hasn’t lived in the Village since she was 20 and her last Pabst Blue Ribbon was before that (she now drinks Corona).